#they didn't give Kanan one so why give Ezra one

[illuminatedquill]

Ghost Stories 07

Starring Sabine Wren + Ezra Bridger (Feat. Hera Syndulla)

Story Summary: While helping Hera clean out the Ghost in preparation for Jacen's return from the Academy, Sabine finds a memento leftover from a mission during their days in the Rebellion - a mission that Ezra professes to have little recollection of. Sabine takes it upon herself to remind him what exactly happened . . . Years ago, a mission to rescue Imperial prisoners from being sold to Zygerrian slavers turns deadly for Sabine Wren and Ezra Bridger. In order to escape, Ezra will have to trust Sabine with his life in a way he’s never done so before . . .

"Ezra," said Hera in the tone of someone whose patience was wearing dangerously thin, "I need you to scrub the outside vents again."

The young man glanced at his partner, Sabine, with a bemused look. She gave a discreet smile in reply; this was a strong sense of nostalgia about this whole scene that brought up old memories for both of them. They were older now and the early years of the Rebellion had long since passed, but some things never changed it seemed. Hera still had the ability to boss both of them around with ease.

Besides, it was for a good cause: Jacen, Hera and Kanan's son, was returning from the Academy on vacation. She planned to take him on a sightseeing tour all over the galaxy, accompanied by his favorite extended family: Aunt Sabine and Uncle Ezra.

Ezra slung the used rag he had been using to wipe down some of the viewports over his shoulder and gave Hera a nod. "Sure thing," he replied casually. "The laser scrubber still out there?"

"Should be," answered the Twi'lek. She gave him a slightly guilty look, accompanied with an apologetic smile. "We're almost done. Promise."

Sabine rolled her eyes. "I've heard that before. Come on, Ezra. I'll give you a hand."

He frowned at her. "It's not really a two-person job - "

She clamped a hand over his mouth before Hera noticed. "He didn't mean that," she assured the Twi'lek. "It's always been a two-person job."

Hera snorted. "No, it hasn't. I've always just let it slide since Kanan and I used to pull that same excuse to get some alone time from you guys."

The Mandalorian blinked at her. "No wonder you two took so long," Sabine remarked.

"Had to be thorough," Hera said smugly.

"Gross," said Ezra cheerfully. "Let's get out there Sabine and start, uh, scrubbing."

She hooked her arm through his. "Lead the way."

_ _ _ _ _

"So, what's the real reason why you wanted to be alone with me?" Ezra asked. They had just been outside on the Ghost's hull for around ten minutes, blasting the laser scrubber at the freighter's durasteel frame. It was still spotless from the last time it had been scrubbed but, given Hera's anxious mood, it was best not to mention that.

Sabine sat down next to him, watching him work. "What? You want to make out?"

He paused his scrubbing and pushed up the safety goggles onto his forehead. His piercing blue eyes flashed invitingly at her. "Always," he replied.

She smirked and tossed something at him.

Ezra yelped, juggling the laser scrubber in one hand and the thrown item in another for a few seconds. Finally, he clumsily transferred the laser scrubber to the other hand and gained a grip on the item Sabine had thrown at him.

Sabine laughed.

He glared at her. "I could have scorched the Ghost. You know Hera will flay us both alive if that happened."

The Jedi looked down at the object in his hand with curiosity. "What is this, anyway?"

"What's it look like, Ezra?"

It was a round, thin piece of electrum metal with an ugly black box attached on one side. Ezra peered at it for a moment, thinking, before saying slowly, "It looks like . . . a collar?"

"Yup," said Sabine. "Your powers of deduction continue to impress, Master Jedi."

Ezra snorted. "A collar, huh. Do you want me to wear it? Because if that's the case, we really need to go somewhere private if you're thinking what I think you're thinking."

Sabine blinked coyly at her partner. "Say 'woof'."

The Jedi sighed. "Sabine . . . "

She tilted her back and laughed. As always, Ezra felt a thrill of satisfaction seeing her do so. It never failed to make him feel good knowing that he could do that.

"You really don't recognize it, huh," Sabine said a few moments later, settling down after her spat of giggles.

"Should I?" asked Ezra.

She nodded. "Found it while cleaning out my old room. It's a . . . shall we say, a souvenir from a mission we did way back during the Rebellion."

Ezra frowned. "Which one?"

"The one with Zygerrian slavers? Ring a bell?"

He racked his head, using an old Jedi technique to focus his memory . . . and, to his surprise, found nothing. "Not really," he confessed.

Sabine blew out a breath. "Makes sense."

Now, he was really curious. He stepped over and sat down next to her. "Really? How so?"

She pointed at the ugly metal ring in his hands. "That's a Zygerrian slave collar. Nasty stuff. We were freeing Imperial prisoners that had been sold to them. They had these clasped to their necks."

"That was our mission? How come I don't remember it?"

Sabine took the collar gently from his hands and studied it for a long moment.

Finally, she spoke without looking at him.

"Because," she said solemnly, "you died, Ezra."

~ the escape, 2 BBY ~

The plan had been simple. Infiltrate the Imperial base, locate the prisoners, disrupt the deal between Zygerrian slavers and corrupt Imperial officials, and then blast their way out to the waiting Ghost nearby hidden in the forest surrounding the base.

Truth be told, it had all gone fairly smoothly. Ezra had gone undercover, posing as a new prisoner and directed the Specters to the prisoners' movements via code signals until it was time to free them. Sabine had been tracking his signals, directing the others into their places around the Imperial base -

And then it went wrong, right at the end. One of the prisoners. an elderly male Quarren, had fallen behind during the battle. Ezra, being the gallant idiot he was, had stayed with the Quarren to cover him as Zygerrian mercenaries and stormtroopers alike blasted at them.

The young Jedi's emerald blade flashed bright through the fog of blasterfire and smoke, battering aside any shots that came close. And they were indeed coming closer and closer.

"Dank ferrik," snarled Sabine, ducking behind a large crate. Scarlet blaster bolts flew through the space her head had been, scorching the wall behind her.

"Ezra! Move your butt and get him over here now!" she yelled through the maelstrom of blasterfire. Zeb was holding the exit, blasting away with his weapon, but time was running short.

"Any day you two!" the big Lasat roared. "I can't keep this open forever!"

"I'm a little busy over here!" Ezra shouted back. "Hang on - "

He glanced at the elderly Quarren. "Sorry for this," he said apologetically. Closing his eyes, the Jedi reached out with an open hand. The alien looked at him, puzzled, for a second -

And then an invisible hand seemed to grip him. Eyes bulging in part-fear, part-shock, the Quarren rose off the ground a few inches, then a foot -

"Happy trails," muttered Sabine, knowing what was coming next.

"What are you - aaaaahhhhhhh!" screamed the Quarren as the invisible hand threw him over to Zeb. The big Lasat almost fell over with the force of the throw.

Ezra's eyes snapped open, and he whirled on the spot, his lightsaber coming up to parry a flurry of blaster bolts aiming for his chest -

Sabine saw a mercenary land next to Ezra. Something shiny glinted in his hand.

Her heart lurched in fear as she recognized what the mercenary was holding. A Zygerrian slave collar. They had already deactivated the other ones, thanks to the codes they had found in the Imperial database, but this was new. It wouldn't be using the same code.

She vaulted over the crate, taking a few shots but her armor held firm. Hitting the ground at a dead sprint, she screamed Ezra's name in warning. Her blasters spat fire at the mercenary, but the shots were absorbed into a force shield that emanated from his vambrace, similar to the ones Mandalorians used.

But he was too distracted at the volley of shots heading his way. He turned, hearing his name as she approached, his lightsaber snapping up to guard -

It was too late. The mercenary hissed as the plasma blade hit him, but not before the collar was already around Ezra's neck.

It snapped close. A deadly hum of energy pulsed out from it, followed by a small beeping noise. Ezra spasmed in place as the collar shocked him into submission.

"The Jedi's down!" yelled a stormtrooper. "Focus fire - "

He didn't get to finish the command. Sabine lobbed a thermal detonator in his direction. She slid next to her fallen friend and slung an arm around her shoulder to support him.

"Zeb!" she screamed. "We need cover!"

The big Lasat let loose a battle cry and dove into the fray, his rifle blasting away. The explosion came soon after, buffeting everything around it in scorched debris.

"Hang on, Ezra," she panted, half-dragging him towards the exit. "Hang on!"

_ _ _ _ _

"Sabine," said Kanan. "We need options."

They were in the cargo hold of the Ghost, now jetting through hyperspace to escape any pursuers. The prisoners had been taken to the communal area to rest after their harrowing escape. Sabine, Kanan, Zeb, Chopper and a weary Ezra were the only ones in there, since Hera needed to fly the ship.

Ezra winced and fingered nervously at the collar grimly clutched around his neck. He looked to Sabine, smiling weakly. Putting on a brave face, she noted.

She was glad that her helmet remained on. It wouldn't do him any good to see how nervous she was.

"How do I look?" he asked. "Don't suppose this is a good color on me, is it."

"We'll have to get you one that brings out the color in your eyes," she replied absent-mindedly. Her mind was racing, coming up with thoughts, ideas, any scrap of solution that she could come up with on such short notice.

"Sabine," urged Kanan.

She clenched her teeth. "It's not that easy. Without the deactivation code, it's next to impossible. Zygerrians triple deadlock their collars as a failsafe; at any sign of tampering, they immediately send out a lethal pulse of energy to the wearer's brain. They can't be sliced either; the mechanism and programming are too complex."

"Even for you?" asked Zeb.

It hurt to say it. But there was no time for false bravado. Not with Ezra's life on the line. "Even for me."

"How much time does he have?" asked Kanan.

The slave collar, as if on cue, beeped. Sabine peered closely at the black box attached to the outside; a red light was flashing on and off, intermittently.

"Not much. If we can get him to a rebel base within the hour, he might have a chance," said Sabine.

Ezra's eyes snapped to her, questioning. She shook her head slightly at him. He had picked up on the lie.

"I'll speak to Hera, see if we can speed things up a bit. Zeb, I need you to check on our guests. I'm sure they'll be rattled and need someone to looking after them."

The Lasat opened his mouth to protest but Kanan cut him off. "Don't argue with me, Zeb. Ezra's safe with Sabine. He'll be okay with her."

He looked to Sabine for confirmation. She waved him off. "Get a move on, big guy," she said casually. "I got it here. The goober's gonna be fine."

"Fine," he said grumpily. He patted Ezra on the back and then made his way to the freed prisoners. Kanan nodded at Sabine and then at Ezra before following Zeb.

Which left just her, Ezra, and Chopper alone in the cargo hold. The astromech made a mournful noise.

After a tense moment, Ezra said simply, "You lied."

Sabine just looked at him and didn't say anything.

He smiled lopsidedly at her. "I don't have an hour, do I."

Finally, she found her voice. "No. You don't. The collar's on a count-down. It must have been damaged during the fire fight. The next pulse of energy will kill you."

"How long?"

"Less than ten minutes, at most."

He just nodded at her. "Well . . . that's that, then."

Sabine grabbed him by the shoulders. "It's not over. I've still got time to think this through."

"It's okay, Sabine," said Ezra earnestly. "I'm okay. Really."

"Nothing about this is okay, Ezra!" Sabine hissed. "I can fix this. I swear to you."

He went silent, his eyes studying her closely. "Okay. I believe you."

"Good," she retorted.

"Can you just do me a favor, really quick?"

"Other than think of a way to save your life?"

He grinned at her. Not long, but real. "You can multi-task."

Despite the dire situation, she snorted. "Sure. What is it?"

"Take off your helmet. I just want to see you."

She hesitated. The collar beeped - another minute had passed. "Ezra - "

"I know. But it would make me feel better if I could just see your face."

The unspoken words hung heavy in the air between you. For one last time.

She acquiesced, taking off her helmet. The light in the cargo bay seemed so bright; the air so tense and still in that very moment.

"Thank you," said Ezra.

Another beep. He just looked at her - like he would never see her again.

"There are messages," Ezra said suddenly. "Holo-discs underneath my bed. For everyone."

"Shut up," whispered Sabine. "Those will never be played. No one is ever going to hear those. At least not today."

"Sabine - "

She glared at him. "Shut. Up. I'm thinking."

He went silent.

Beep.

Energy, she thought furiously. Something to do with the energy. I can't slice it. The programming forbids it to be released without the proper codes. How do I get the kriffing thing off him without -

Her eyes widened. Fail safe.

The energy. If she could redirect it . . .

But that would mean only one thing. Only one way to remove the collar from Ezra.

"You've got something," Ezra observed. "Tell me."

She bit her lip. "Do you trust me?" she asked.

"Always," he responded.

"Fail-safe. Zygerrians don't like to waste anything. If a slave dies while wearing the collar, it automatically unlocks. They're reusable. Prevents them from having to build another one."

"Okay," Ezra said slowly. "How does that help me?"

She turned to look him directly in the eye. "I can't stop the collar from releasing the pulse. But I can maybe re-direct it. Away from your brain and towards your heart."

He held her gaze. She saw the gears in his head turning at this information, following the strands of cold logic to their terrible conclusion. "You're going to stop my heart. Kill me, and then the collar opens up."

"Not permanently," she added hastily. "Long enough to trick the collar into thinking you're dead. Once the collar comes undone, I'll have Chopper give you a zap to kickstart your heart again."

Ezra turned to the astromech. "What do you think, Chopper?"

Chopper's dome swiveled between them both, running calculations. Finally, he tweeted out a confirmation that Sabine's plan was solid.

Beep.

"Do it," said Ezra.

She blinked at him. "Just like that?"

He shrugged, smiling a little. "Got any better ideas?"

"Not with the amount of time remaining," she admitted.

"Then, let's get to it."

Sabine hesitated. "Ezra - "

He grabbed her hands. "There is no one else I would trust with this. I'm glad it's you."

The tears started to come without warning. "You know what this means, right?" she whispered. "I have to kill you."

"Just for a little bit," he replied jokingly.

"It's not funny," she said angrily. "This is so messed up. It shouldn't be like this. I don't want to do this."

She swiped at her face, willing the tears to stop falling. They didn't listen.

"Sabine. Look at me."

She did.

"I love you. And I'm sorry."

She swallowed hard. The words - those blasted three little words - came stuck in her throat. Sabine couldn't say anything.

She reached out instead to the black box, her fingers gently prying it open. The collar's sensors wouldn't view it as sabotage since they needed to be regularly maintained in such a way.

Beep.

Ezra's gaze never left her as she worked. Finally, it was complete. The circuits had been re-worked to fire the pulse of energy to its new destination.

Beep.

"Guess this it," remarked Ezra.

"It will be quick," she said quietly. "Painless. I promise."

Her fingers hovered over the button that would kill her best friend.

"Thank you for everything," said Ezra.

She was shaking.

His fingers were gentle, brushing her cheek. At last, she found the strength to look at him once more.

He was smiling.

She pushed the button. The collar pulsed.

The smile never faded as he slumped into her arms, dead.

Sabine's breathing came fast and hard; she could feel the cold waves of panic flooding through her.

Focus, she ordered herself. Focus!

She laid Ezra out gently onto the floor, cursing her shaking hands. "Chopper, you better be ready when I say so."

The astromech tweedled an affirmative response. An electrical probe he used for welding popped out of one his sockets, sparking at the ready.

Sabine stared at the collar, waiting. It was beeping, running its own check on Ezra's life signs.

"Come on," she hissed. "Come on!"

Every passing second that Ezra's heart was stopped was another step into death's embrace. He would never wake up.

And it would be all her fault.

More seconds passed, stretching into an agonizing eternity. She crouched over Ezra's body, eyes wide, feeling helpless -

There was a rapid succession of beeps and then - an anti-climactic click.

The collar popped free.

"Chopper!"

The astromech stuck its electric probe into Ezra's side and gave him a shock.

Her friend's body spasmed - and then laid still.

She checked for a pulse.

Nothing.

No. No, no, no. Not like this.

"Chopper, hit him again!"

The astromech complied. Another shock. Ezra's frame jerked and then went still once again.

Her fingers found the spot on his neck, searching for that tell-tale sign of life.

Nothing again.

The panic burst forth, nothing left to stop its path. "Chopper - "

The little droid shook his head sadly, beeping in resignation. She barely understood him - something about potentially damaging Ezra further if he continued to shock him.

She shoved the astromech away. "I'll do it myself, then," she said, half-hysterical.

Sabine knelt Ezra and began chest compressions, finding the rhythm as she had been trained to do. Both hands centered on the chest, thirty compressions, then mouth to mouth breathing.

She was sobbing. "Come on, come on, come on . . . "

Ezra didn't come back.

"Ezra, please. Please."

She continued on for what felt like ages. Finally, the last of her strength was spent, and Sabine collapsed backwards.

Chopper sighed, a grieving sound.

He was gone. Ezra was gone.

She had failed.

Sabine bowed her head, face screwed tight with emotion.

"Ezra . . . oh, Ezra," was all she could say in between sobs.

And then came the sound of pained laughter.

Her head snapped up at the noise.

Ezra's head turned slightly towards her. His breath was shallow, labored - but he was very much alive. And looking at her through half-closed eyes.

"Are you okay?" he whispered.

She crawled towards him and wrapped him in a crushing hug. "Why would you ask me that, idiot?" she asked in a voice hoarse from crying. "You're the one who died."

"I did?" he asked. "Why would I do that?"

She laughed, the noise sounding half-crazed. "I thought I lost you, Ezra."

He patted her on the back clumsily. "I'm not going anywhere. Promise."

Sabine just hugged him tighter.

Kanan found the two friends like that, still embraced, half an hour later when he came back to check on them.

~ present day ~

Sabine set down the slave collar after finishing her recollection. Next to her, Ezra was quiet.

"Well?" she asked. "Any comments on how you died?"

Ezra shot her an amused look. "Weird question to ask someone."

"And you still remember none of it?"

He scratched his trimmed beard idly. "Eh, not really. Must be the lack of oxygen to the brain after the shock."

"Hmmm," said Sabine. "Maybe it's for the best."

"Maybe," agreed Ezra. "But if you want my comments . . . I would say that wasn't a bad way to go."

She peered at him. "Explain."

He grinned at her. "It's all a bit fairytale-esque, right? The kiss that woke me up from my slumber."

Sabine's jaw dropped. "It wasn't - I was giving you CPR! It was mouth to mouth resuscitation. And it wasn't slumber, you idiot. You were clinically dead!"

His grin widened. "The last one didn't feel like resuscitation. Felt like a kiss to me."

She slapped his arm lightly. "You were awake? So you do remember some of it!"

He gave her a coy look. "Maybe I just really wanted a kiss. Was that so much to ask for?"

"You are unbelievable, Ezra Bridger," said Sabine, shaking her head.

"Uh-huh," said Ezra. His grin faded. "Sabine. You're not still feeling guilty about any of that, are you?"

"I . . . yeah, I do," she confessed. "That could easily have gone the other way. You wouldn't be sitting here, next to me, talking about any of this if my idea hadn't worked out."

"But it did. I'm still here. You brought me back, like you always do."

She snorted. "It does seem to be my job to do just that. I'm an expert, huh."

He reached and gave her hand an affectionate squeeze. "The one and only expert at saving Ezra Bridger. No one better to call, in my opinion."

Ezra paused, thinking, and then said, "You're not really an expert at killing me, though. Since it didn't stick that one time."

Sabine reached out and pinched his cheek affectionately. "Cyar'ika, you are adorable and there is something deeply wrong with you."

"Ow," said Ezra. "That hurt. Might leave a bruise."

"Oh, really?" asked Sabine wryly. "Should I kiss it better then?"

"Well, your kisses do seem to work miracles, so there's no harm in doing so . . . but it does hurt here on my lips too, if you want to start there."

"Is that so? Let me see," she replied in a husky tone, leaning forward -

"If you want to see some real bruises," came Hera's violently cheerful voice, "then by all means, please do continue not doing what I asked of you."

Ezra and Sabine looked at each other - and then scrambled hastily to resume their work, the laser scrubber firing away once more.

"Good children," said Hera pleasantly. "I'll be watching, don't worry," she added, before stalking inside the Ghost to finish her own tasks.

Sabine shook her head. "She's crazy. We'll never finish these chores before Jacen arrives."

"I know," Ezra groaned. "Kill me, please."

She shoved him. Ezra laughed.

[voidartisan]

Anyway. Survived another semester. So. Star Wars characters as things my friends, professors, and classmates have said (plus a few things i've overheard on campus). two for the price of one bc in spring I forgor

Echo: Fives! GO!

Fives: NO! It's a free country!

Fives: *starts singing Republic anthem*

Echo: you can't sing the national anthem and BE A COWARD!!!

Ahsoka: Maybe they just really wanted there to be a gay weasel

Barriss: Hello. We were just talking about how my grandma's dog has a foot fetish

Sabine, in a class discussing ancient Egyptian art: Okay, don't hate me for this question, but, in the movie The Mummy---

Anakin: I didn't hit him that hard!

Obi-Wan: YOU BROKE HIS NOSE.

Omega: How’d you get those washboard abs, grandma?

Rex: I'd never say anything like that to you on purpose. You're like a daughter to me.

Echo: Thank you

Kanan: I watched two squirrels fighting in the middle of the street this morning. Kinda gave me Hector and Achilles

Din Djarin: WHO IS THIS BABY?

Rex: WHO DID YOU MARRY????

Luke: OH! I got t-boned to this song! :D

Kanan: Thou art the bomb dot com

Hound, dreamily: I want my ashes tested for narcotics

Thorn: They got a dried llama fetus. From Bolivia

Thire: Not the llama fetus

Jesse: Do you eat the cherry pits?

Kix: No? I'm pretty sure those have cyanide in them.

Jesse: *slowly removes cherry pit from mouth*

Obi-Wan: You'd think that with my very high reading level I would have figured that out sooner

Ahsoka: I mean, Yoda's made it that long

Barriss: Okay, but he's filled with happiness and good thoughts. I'm filled with bitterness and ibuprofen.

Ahsoka: This is why we have repentance and insurance

Cody, speaking to a spider in the shower: First of all, you're a pervert

Wooley, awake at 1 am: Next time, we should do drugs

Ezra: I thought I was about to have my Snow White moment, but instead, I almost got rabies

Leia: I'm trying to tell a story, and you're BOOGIEING

Hunter: I like where I am.

Phee: Surrounded by girls?

Hunter: No. Dirt.

Ventress: Give that man some cleavage

Riyo: When I say I've got that dog in me, it's Snoopy

Crosshair: If I was a bird, I would be homicidal

Luke: They made him straight. And SAD.

Wrecker: I don't need you to tell me what to do, number man!

Quinlan: Hear me out---

Luminara: You are NOT allowed to say that

Anakin: Arsonists are easy to catch. They leave a bunch of evidence.

Ahsoka: Like fire?

Anakin: Like fire.

Anakin, to Obi-Wan: You like blondes so blond that you can't tell if they have receding hairlines or not

Leia: I have no moral code when it comes to my father.

Hunter: I just love you, okay?

Crosshair: Okay.

Hunter: And I'm gonna slap you in the face the next time I see you.

Phee: They de-'tismed my boy

Fives, singing weakly, laying the wrong way on a mattress, with his legs up against the wall and head and arms hanging off the edge: 🎶H-O-T-T-O-G-O, you can take me hot to go~🎶

Anakin: *shows Ahsoka a clip of the Grinch*

Ahsoka: How did they get live footage of you?

Obi-Wan: What were you saying?

Quinlan: I forgot

Obi-Wan: I know; I was just asking out of courtesy

Luke: A FULL rye chip?! Alms for the poor!

Ventress: Hold on, he's gonna do the slutty cape wave again

Rig Nema: He died of a pulmonary embolism

Kix: Happens to the best of us

Ezra: Should I have known that talking in a spoon in my mouth would make it fall? PROBABLY. But what if this ONE TIME it was DIFFERENT

Hera, abruptly: I need to start listening to more ABBA

Tech: I'm too weird and I need to get weirder.

Obi-Wan: Dead husband. With cancer. At least it's in a nice font.

Satine: Hmm. No.

Obi-Wan: I'm sorry, would it be easier to break the news in Times New Roman?

Phee: I am a very patient woman in terms of patience

Fives: *hands Tup his toast in order to take a picture of Jesse lying next to the trashcan*

Fives: *takes picture*

Fives: *holds out hand* Toast me

Padme: He can make that Perry the Platypus noise- and I think that's hot, by the way-

Echo: I’m going to commit a crime if I have to move these gnomes again

Kanan: My gym skills are akin to a headless chicken attempting hopscotch

[seth-shitposts]

just some thoughts.

Kallus keeps every single item he's ever been given.

For the longest time, that had only been the bo-rifle. Which he lost when his cover was blown.

And then there was the meteorite, another item he kept close to his person because of its daily significance to him. Which is also MIA.

At first, no one really noticed.

When he first joined the rebellion, he had nothing. Which wasn't strange. What was strange was that it stayed that way for a long while. A few unsavory rebels poked, prodded, and speculated that it was the Imperial in him. But he always shook their taunts off, having more important things to attend to.

Sabine was the first to give him a gift. She painted his old imperial chest plate and he keeps it as a decorative piece. He had wanted to get rid of the armor initially, but she talked him out of it. Now he knows why and he can't really bring himself to part with it now that the teen has put her own personal touch on to it.

After four months in the rebellion officially, it had been the first and only item to be in his room.

A few weeks later, he wobbles into his room after a long shift and finds a laser-cut stone statue of a loth cat. It's unquestionably an item left by the rebellions own loth cat, Ezra. Kallus smiles to himself and makes it a center piece on his counter.

One morning he had invited Kanan over for caf... well, more so Kanan offered to bring Kallus some of his favourite to brew. Kallus tried to have them meet somewhere in HQ or perhaps in the ghost, or even in one of the rec rooms. Kanan explained that he wanted something where it could be more quiet, as he had something important to speak about with Kallus. Kallus reluctantly agreed and managed to get a hold of a caf brewer. He realized he made a fatal miscalculation when Kanan showed up and Kallus didn't have a single cup. Kanan had just laughed and said that he had a feeling that was the case. Kanan pulled out a few mugs he had taught himself how to make back on Atollon. He gifted them to Kallus, who uses them frequently. (He has acquired quite a collection over time. At one point, everyone who he considers friends has gifted him at least one mug each, he has a collection of 38 mugs.)

There's been a few more times when Kallus has returned to his room to find random items and nick-nacks from Ezra. His current favourite is one of Pryce's stolen helmets that Ezra had Sabine paint.

Kallus is quite fond of weapon that he helped Wolffe and Gregor steal from am imperial auction. It's beyond repair, but it was from the same line of Canon blasters that helped them win many battles back in the clone wars.

One of Kallus’s favourite Hera gifts is the miniature self-piloting ship that circles the ceiling of his room. She had made it in her down time, one day when she had scrap pieces she was fiddling with while he was working. Eventually, the two fell into a pattern of Hera working on some small project while Kallus read a book that Rex or Cassian usually gifted him. She usually also had him tell her whatever the latest interpersonal spectacles were hot in rumors.

Kallus doesn't question the continously growing number of Imperial rank badges that Chopper likes to keep in Kallus's room and have Kallus help him rearrange into a pattern. Chopper is taking after Sabine, in a light. The droid is very particular about how he wants the badges arranged. It's growing into quite an abstract work.

Rex and AP-5 have both given Kallus a dozen plants. Separately. AP-5 enjoys to talk about his interest in plants for hours during his down time. Kallus listens to every speech about the care that goes into them, the importance of their specific roles in the environment that supports them, and their scientific uses. Rex enjoys telling stories of his past related to each plant he brings Kallus. The soldier attaches the memory of old friends to a plant that reminds him of them. And he told Kallus that something about him just reads as plant caretaker. And Kallus still has no reason to doubt a single hunch from Rex because he has yet to let a single plant that either he or AP-5 has ever brought him die. He's managed to not only keep every single plant alive, but also thriving.

Ths growing number of plants pulled a chuckle from Zeb one day, cracking a joke about how he feels like he stepped into a different type of jungle.

The gifts that Zeb have given Kallus are numerous, all seemingly unrelated, yet distinctly Zeb. Furniture he made from wood he found in Yavin's jungle, gems he snagged from imperial black market auctions that he made into a wind chime, minor items that are fascinating to just hold and fidget with, a weighted blanket that Zeb stitched together himself, jewelry that Zeb said reminded him of Kallus. Quite a few of the gifts were made by hand. A number of others had practical uses to them. And some just given because "I looked at it and thought of you". The day that Zeb gave him a Lasana tunic, Kallus was left at a loss for words. The fabric was the most comfortable texture he had ever held, the colors were soft and gentle. Zeb told Kallus he made himself, every stitch, every color had an intent, a meaning behind them. He tried it on for the other and fell in love with how right it felt to wear, how comfortable it was, and most of all for the soft look in Zeb's eyes when he showed him. The top portion was sleeveless and backless, the cloth collar covering most of his neck and layered over his chest. The waist was contrastingly snug and hugged him fittedly. The pants we loose and airy, before the fabric around the ankles clung to his skin once more. The smile never left either of their faces the whole time.

[magicwriterdream]

Star Wars Rebels Changed my Life

But before I tell you why, let me begin with my introduction (I rambled and did not edit, so please excuse any mistakes).

I was seventeen when Rebels aired (I know, I'm showing my age). At the time I was still riding off the Disappointment of Clone Wars being cancelled, and didn't know what I would think of this strange new show that was Totally Different.

I had read a fanfic in the Clone Wars section of Fanfiction.net about a week before it premiered. I will add to the tags later when I find it. But it was from someone who was so excited for Rebels and since, naturally, there was no fandom yet since it hadn't aired, posted it under clone wars. I, after reading it, was intrigued and decided to watch it premiere night.

It was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

By the time Kanan entered the cockpit, talking to Hera about picking up this kid, I was in love with the show. It was so different from Clone Wars, but in a good way. It tugged at my heart and made me laugh. From that day on, I was a fan. I cried when Kanan died, I jumped for joy when Ahsoka descended the ladder (she is still my favorite character of all time).

This little animated show got me through college, when I was still trying to find my identity outside of my family. It was there when I started my very first relationship (who I am happily married to now). It kept me sane on the worst nights, crying when my roommate and her friend broke my heart.

And it's biggest impact on my life? Well, in a strange turn of events, Rebels is one reason I have an English degree.

When I started college, after years of reading fanfiction, I began to write my own. This is important because, when I was young, my dad destroyed any sense of writing fiction.I'm from Appalachia and he disapproved of my fantasy stories, believing my only works should pertain to my culture. Eventually I gave up, and put down every story I had poured my heart into, because I believed that he was right.

When Rebels came along, I was inspired by the community to write. Under the penname PentoPapergal18, I went into college writing a little piece called Silent, yet Heard, where Ezra is mute. It is a rough piece and clearly showed my years of inexperience, but the community was amazing, supporting me. I carried the first draft in a purple binder, writing it out by hand before typing it up.

My professor noticed I was writing in my notebook before her class started and encouraged me to look into an English degree. Because of her, I ended up accepting it as my second major.

Now, I have two self-published pieces, and started a local writers group. I am working on the novel my dad discouraged all those years ago, and plan on attempting traditional publishing. Rebels fanfiction gave me the confidence to work toward my dream again.

(also, I have two dogs named Zeb and Vader. So yeah)

Thank you, Rebels, for giving me comfort on the hard nights. For giving a community that sparked my dream again. For giving me characters that live in my heart forever.

Time and time again I return to your galaxy. Each visit an open hug and a greeting from an old friend. I can never repay you for your impact on my life.

Thank you, Ghost Crew. May the force be with you.

[antianakin]

I've decided that Rex is the one who paints Kanan's eye mask with his bird of prey design.

Kanan's feeling pretty low still just after Malachor, he's still distancing himself from everybody, and Rex decides to go try to talk to him at one point and the first thing he comes up with to say is to point out that his new mask is pretty plain. It's awkward, he regrets it immediately, but then Kanan says that it gets the job done and Rex is abruptly reminded of himself so so long ago back at the beginning of the war.

He sits Kanan down and tells him a story about how, at the beginning of the war, only a few of the clones had paint on their armor, to designate things like rank and battalion in order to make it easier for officers to find them in the middle of a busy battlefield. The paint was practical and it was limited to a very select few. But the Jedi almost immediately started trying to encourage the clones to utilize the paint less sparingly, suggesting that maybe everybody could wear at least a LITTLE paint and use more individualized designs so that it was still easy to tell the commanders and captains apart from the others when needed.

Some of the clones had taken to it with gusto, but others had been more hesitant, and Rex remembers having been one of them. He remembers telling Obi-Wan that there was no real REASON to paint everyone's armor and especially not to come up with personal designs. The armor was practical and it served its purpose with or without the paint and special designs. But the Jedi had insisted on at least TRYING to come up with his own design and if he didn't like it, he could always take it off, so Rex had given in and chosen something to paint on the armor. And, somehow, it felt a little lighter the next time he put it on. It didn't erase the horrors of war or the pain of loss or anything like that, but it helped.

He tells Kanan that the mask right now is just a reminder of the pain of the injury and whatever other feelings he's still got all caught up in the Malachor mission (guilt over what happened with Ezra, grief over Ahsoka's loss). But if he puts his own design on it, it might turn the mask into something other than a constant reminder of something bad. Instead, it's a reminder of who he is, the combination of the person he once was and who he's become. He is more than just his injury or this mission and he can use the mask to declare that if he wants to.

Kanan says he never realized Rex and the other clones had cared so deeply about their armor and Rex says that the armor itself was meaningless. It's better than what's being handed out to stormtroopers, but not but a LOT. It was the design on it that had meant something and, more than that, it was what the design REPRESENTED: having a choice about how you were perceived by others.

Kanan asks why Rex had chosen his particular designs, the bird of prey eyes on his helmet in particular. Rex explains that he chose it because he liked birds and thought it looked cool, but he's kept the helmet for as long as he has because it's come to mean something ELSE now. It's not just a cool-looking design, it's a reminder of a better time in his life. It's a reminder of when he'd been a part of something greater than himself, with the other clones and the Jedi. It's a reminder of a time when he'd had hope that he and his people could one day come out the other side of this war towards a brighter future.

Kanan looks at the mask he'd grabbed from storage somewhere or something just to keep light from hurting his eyes as they recovered and to cover up the injury from other people's stares (even if he couldn't see them staring), then hands it to Rex and asks if Rex minds sharing that symbol because he'd like a reminder of that, too. Rex remembers the 332nd and their helmets that they'd painted to look like their chosen Jedi, almost blindly giving away their individuality in favor of that loyalty that had been stripped from them anyway. And then he looks at Kanan, choosing to make himself look LIKE REX, someone who had shared his face with millions once, because he wants to honor both the connections he'd lost as well as this new connection the two of them have built together now. And Rex says he'd be happy to share.

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

Now that I think about it, is there any proof that Luke even knows about the "Jedi can't marry or have kids" rule?

Obi-Wan and Yoda obviously never brought it up cause it would require telling Luke why he's the son of a Jedi then. Ahsoka doesn't talk about Anakin when she can avoid it. Ezra definitely doesn't know cause Kanan didn't give a fuck about it. And there's a good chance that it's one of those things that is so obvious it's rarely outright mentioned, so even investigating old Jedi teachings and holocrons might not provide an answer.

This isn't a discussion about that part of the Order, by the way, I just think it would be really funny if the entire second generation of Jedi grows up completely unaware that this big, integral part of the Order existed because of a series of coincidences.

[jessicas-pi]

📓?

OOH, ok, so this is an AU I came up with when I was thinking about how the concept of Sabine being Ahsoka's Padawan didn't work in canon but it has SO much potential in AUs.

The idea of this one is that Ahsoka is the one to find Sabine instead of the Spectres, and she takes her as a Padawan. Sabine gets two lightsabers just like Ahsoka and learns Jar'Kai.

Whenever Ahsoka and Kanan work together they argue like a pair of PTA moms trying to insinuate that their kid is obviously the better Jedi.

Ahsoka and Kanan eventually become the Cool Aunt and Cool Uncle to each other's Padawans, and then Sabine decides that that means she obviously needs to be the Bad Influence Cousin and Ahsoka starts getting angry comm calls from Kanan ("Care to explain why my Padawan can swear in seventeen languages now?") But it turns out that Ezra is also a Bad Influence Cousin and Kanan starts getting angry comm calls from Ahsoka ("You wouldn't happen to know why my Padawan's shoto blade suddenly has a blaster function, would you?")

Sabine is able to face her problems much earlier in the timeline, which results in a healthier grip on her emotions. But also her sense of humor about her past is kind of concerning. Ezra is the only one who finds her jokes funny. Kanan and Ahsoka (and Hera, of course) just give each other worried looks.

Malachor doesn't go horribly wrong cause Ezra might dismiss Kanan as being overprotective of him, but Sabine agrees with Kanan that Maul is dangerous, and Sabine is the one who dared Ezra to jump off a four-story building last week, so Ezra's like "oh you mean DANGEROUS dangerous" and then maul never has the chance to royally screw everything up because Ezra doesn't trust him.

This is kind of the farthest I've got with this idea, but because it's me, the idea obviously somehow inevitably ends up in a fix-it AU where nobody dies or gets purgilled!

The end

[kanerallels]

@fairytale-lights tagged me in a fic writer interview game, so let's roll! Thanks for the tag!!

How many works do you have on AO3? 86, which I am indeed losing my mind about

What's your total AO3 word count? 750,882

Your top five stories by kudos/likes:

Catch (a Chenford one shot)

And So The Adoption Begins (one of my earlier Steve Miller Au fics)

Shattering Glass And Gunshots (my Chenford time loop au! Super proud of that one)

Black Is The Color Of My True Love's Hair (Kanej soulmate au. The first fic of mine to get over 100 kudos!)

Birthdays Are Overrated, Anyways (just a fun SWR one shot!)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes I do!! Very, very slowly, but I love getting responded to, so I like to reciprocate that. No one look at how many unresponded to comments are in my inbox (it's 100+)

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Oh definitely "What Is A Legacy?" I generally don't write many stories with sad endings (usually just the middle or beginning) but this one. Definitely was lol

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? I write a lot of happy stories lol. Ummm oh chapter two of my 2022 Kanera Week fic was incredibly soft and sweet. But "The First Minute I Saw Her" is a really good ending too! Plus it was HIGHLY cathartic for me to write

Do you write crossovers? You know I used to think it was cringe and now I'm obsessed with them. Haven't posted too many, though. In my defense a bunch of my favorite female characters don't have enough friends who aren't their love interests, and I have a bunch of drama shows set in the modern US. What, am I not supposed to imagine they're all friends?

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Luckily not that I'm aware of! There's always the chance it happened and I just didn't realize it was hate, but I think that's unlikely

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? No

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Don't think so!

Have you ever had a fic translated? Actually I gave someone permission to translate my Foxiyo fic into Russian once!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! A few times with an IRL friend, and it was really fun

What's your all time favorite ship? Kanera, of course! Close seconds would be Anne and Gilbert, Saville and Galen, and Henry and Bess McCord!

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will? Man I hate to abandon a WIP. Part of me is worried that's how Kanereoke is gonna go, honestly. But I have people invested so I can't give in. Plus I committed to this one really funny bit to do with it and I have to follow through. So probably this happiness au fic involving a war on Mandalore and Hera and Sabine getting stuck there, so Kanan and Ezra have to sneak onto the planet to save them and also Obi-Wan is secretly married to Satine and Ezra finds his kyber crystal on Mandalore.

What are your writing strengths? I do a good run on sentence! In all seriousness I think I'm pretty good at dialogue, and I generally manage to keep people fairly in character!

What are your writing weaknesses? I do a good run on sentence! Also writing action sequences for sure, and about half a dozen other things I am forgetting at present.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fics? I'm always afraid I'll mess something up, so I haven't done it often. Other than Mando'a, which I am still afraid of messing up lol

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? The idea of a Brettsey While You Were Sleeping au haunts my dreams

What's your favorite fic you've written? Oh that's hard. The first few that come to mind I haven't actually published, so I can't choose those. I'm really proud of everything I've written in the Steve Miller Au, and "Shattering Glass And Gunshots" is something that's turned out super well!

Tagging with no pressure @singswan-springswan @ana-cantskywalker @undying-lilies @kazoosandfannypacks and anyone else who sees this and wants to play!!

[tarisilmarwen]

Rebels Rewatch: "Jedi Night"

Right, just going to go ahead and pass around the boxes of tissues.

Live reaction version.

And here we are at last. The entire latter half of the season had already began shifting at "Rebel Assault", but here the shift becomes permanent.

From the promos and synopsis put out before this episode, the genre-savvy among us could kind of already tell what was coming. But it was still devastating.

All right, enough stalling, let's get into it.

Aww man, this is the same spot Ezra sits in the finale isn't it?

Dammit we're barely ten seconds in and I'm already sad.

The Loth-wolf theme is heavy over this scene as Kanan is bombarded with an audio portent and foreshadowing of things to come in the WBW.

"You want a ride?" "The Jedi Temple is in danger." "Kanan, you haven't gotten me a present since we met." "You can learn what it truly means to be a Jedi." "You didn't prepare me for this, Kanan." "There's something I need to tell you." "I know I can always count on you."

Kanan hears mostly himself, and the two most important people in his life--Hera and Ezra. He hears Ezra's despair at losing him, and his resolve in entrusting his life and mission to Sabine. He knows the Jedi Temple is in danger. He's connected deeply with the wolves at this point, and either knows or at least suspects what he and Ezra will be asked to do.

This is probably where those extra episodes explaining Kanan's backstory and connection to Lothal would have come in handy. As it is we get the mysterious voiceover dump and have to piece things together after the fact.

What I think makes the most sense is that the Loth-wolves stopped Kanan from going to rescue Hera last episode precisely because--connected deeply as they are in the Force, associated with the WBW--they could see ahead to the potential futures of that course of action and knew that if he went after her, he would die. No matter what he did, no matter which way he moved, one way or another, it would happen. So they warned him. They showed him why lay ahead.

If you do this, we cannot save you, they told him.

And that's why he spends so much of this episode trying to mentally prepare the others, especially Ezra, for his absence.

Because the wolves still a Jedi to save the Temple from Palpatine's evil intentions.

Kanan is resolved in his purpose: He's going to save Hera. He's resigned to his fate: He will trade his life for the chance. And he's determined in his resilience: "Then I will make it count." He won't just make his death a meaningless sacrifice. He will ensure the completion of her mission, honor her by fulfilling the end goal of her failed attack. He will save Lothal by destroying the fuel pods and bringing the factories to a halt. He will give his life for Hera's dream.

Kanan proves in the end that he understands how to love without attachment. (Also why he makes Ezra formulate the plan, because he knows his feelings are compromised when it comes to Hera.) He will not cling selfishly to her. He will free her and then let her go and then let his own life pass away. He will take his place in Hades, and then teach Ezra how to grieve. Because Ezra won't be able to save him.

Because you can't go back down into Hades to retrieve the ones you lose.

“In mythology, if you go to Hades to get them back you’re not doing it for them, you’re doing it for yourself. You’re doing it because you don’t want to give them up. You’re afraid to be without them. The key to the dark side is fear. You must be clean of fear, and fear of loss is the greatest fear. If you’re set up for fear of loss, you will do anything to keep that loss from happening, and you’re going to end up in the dark side. That’s the basic premise of Star Wars and the Jedi, and how it works."

George Lucas, Mellody Hobson George Lucas - Virtual Speaker Interview, 2021

I love this shot, Ezra entering lightsaber-first, a visual emphasis on the fact that they are Jedi, and the Force requires much of them. Much sacrifice, much compassion, much selflessness. To whom much is given, much is required. With great power comes great responsibility.

All that jazz.

Kanan is preparing Ezra for the greatest responsibility he's going to have, to be asked to do what is right regardless of what it will personally cost him. And he's about to become a very painful object lesson.

He also talks like he's been given multiple visions of the future and is arranging things specifically so that they'll fall out in a specific way. It mirrors how Ezra speaks in the finale--If Thrawn shows up too soon, then this path, if he doesn't, then this one.

Some very painful paralleling that you don't realize the first time through.

Ezra's a bit uncertain at first, but honors Kanan's request, and gets started formulating a plan to get them into the Capital.

OH HEY WOULD YOU LIKE TO DESPISE PRYCE A BIT MORE?

Conducting the interrogation personally in her own office is quite the flex.

Once again paralleling to the Season One finale, another character comes in to start the questioning, and gets awfully personal with the digs, bringing up the interrogated party's painful past and history. In this case, Thrawn has brought Hera's kalikori down from its pedastel in his office on the Chimaera--that "place of honor" he promised her--in order to rub it in how he's deciphered the cultural meaning behind it.

Really leaning in hard on those icky cultural appropriation vibes aren't we, writers? Let's be clear, it's not that Thrawn was curious about Twi'lek culture and researched what meant what on a kalikori that's so gross, it's that he did so in order to learn more about Hera specifically so that he could hurt her more personally, namely by taunting her about her dead brother. It's the context, not the curiosity.

Thrawn is an Imperial warlord and only comes into contact with these cultural relics because he's a member of the tyrannical force currently oppressing those cultures. If he really respected or cared about them as items important to the people the Empire was conquering, he should leave them in their damn place. OR, if destruction of the relics at the hand of the Empire was inevitable, he should save them from that destruction and then be finding a way to give them back to the people they belong to or the closest equivalent. Instead he hoards them in his own art gallery to dissect and study to glean more insight into the cultures, so that the Empire might better defeat them.

Yeah no, the staging parallels to the Grand Inquisitor are super 100% on purpose and deliberate.

Also! Because I like ruining people's days, would you like some more Fridge Horror that you may or may not already have seen if you've been following me?

IT-O droids monitor prisoner vitals. Heartrate, blood pressure, adrenaline, other hormones and physiological markers. Hera's already pregnant at this point. Possibly far enough along that the IT-O was able to detect it.

Thrawn and Pryce might knowingly have tortured a pregnant woman.

~You're weeeeeeeeeelcooooooooome.~

Love Sabine whacking Zeb and shushing him to not interrupt Ezra as he's meditating and sensing out.

Also this look. <3

And also the soft conspiratorial smiles between Ezra and Sabine as they vibe on the same wavelength in regards to this plan.

The Kiners go all out on the music this next scene, as we montage building the gliders and Kanan preparing to shave and cut his hair, fully reclaiming his identity as Caleb Dume, The Last Padawan, again.

Kanan's theme plays, in bright flute, with bouncy string accompaniment. It's ritualistic how he moves. Like a samurai slicing off his topknot. Luke's Theme crossfades in through his to mark the heroism of the moment, as the preparations are finished.

And thus begins a long series of hidden goodbyes.

"This is one of those times I'm glad the Force is with you." Zeb says, about how crazy the plan is, and Kanan just silently puts a hand on his shoulder, the last time the two men would ever speak.

(The animators also go all hell out, making this episode one of the most gorgeous yet put to print.)

Cut to our favorite blue asshole. And he's been summoned to Coruscant for a meeting of heads of state to quibble about budgetary proportions lol. Of all things to yank Thrawn away from Lothal, it's politics and bureaucracy, par the course. Thrawn seems offended and claims Palpatine assured him he supports the Defenders.

And while I'm sure Palpatine has paid a bit of lip service to Thrawn's face... yeah no sorry honey, Palpatine was always going to go with the Death Star thing, it's been in the works since before the Clone War broke out. The only issue is that it's sucking all the funding and resources of everything else dry because of the constant delays and problems (Krennic is apparently mismanaging to hell) so now they are considering ganking money from other various projects to feed it.

And that's just... SO like the government lol.

So exit Thrawn, straight into the Thrawn: Treason novel. And I am still SORELY disappointed that Zahn did not take full advantage of the fact that Treason was basically a Rebels tie-in in order to have Thrawn sloooooooowly losing his mind and patience over things dissolving on Lothal while he's not there so that by the time we get him back in the finale, his irritation and annoyance is peak comedy and perfect characterization follow-through.

"I was gone for ONE HOUR and you blew up my project???!??"

The gliders are telegraphed to us with a very slight sound effect, and the rigid wings. So it's amazingly effective at fooling the Troopers lol. Rukh on the other hand has probably picked up a whiff of Zeb lingering on the others so he's alert.

Aaaaaand hidden goodbye number two, frick my heart this one hurts. There's so much Kanan can't tell Ezra, lest the fear of loss cripple him and make him unable to act, drive him towards the Dark Side. Kanan needs Ezra to be able to function for this mission, so he just praises Ezra for being a good listener--a veiled admonition for him to continue listening to the will of the Force, to his instincts, to the wisdom of others, to the wolves--and tells him and Sabine, "May the Force be with you."

He entrusts their safety to the Force, and tells them to trust in it in turn.

"Ezra and Sabine have each other, they'll find their way home."

Oh boy, on this edition of "Terrible Rebels takes that make zero sense except to the perpetually offended", there were actually multiple people who complained about Hera's confession coming about as a result of the truth serum, and they were mad that her loopy state because of the truth serum was played for laughs.

To which all I will say is, shut up, Hera drunk on truth serum is hilarious. Maybe quit having such a stick up your butt about bad things happening to female characters and let them get in on the jokes and slapstick occasionally.

Heroic Main Theme here as Kanan makes his entrance.

About 90% certain the thing Hera wanted to tell Kanan here was that she was pregnant. I refuse to accept that time on the fuel pod as the first time she told Kanan she loved him. Does not make sense, rejected.

Not gonna comment much on the Kanan/Hera scenes, they're adorable and sweet and heartwarming and heartbreaking in hindsight but I will say this soft romantic cue that accompanies them is very lovely.

Pryce sounds more than a bit pissy that Hera got rescued right from under her nose. This leads directly into her recklessness later with the fuel pods.

Love Ezra and Sabine casually commandeering a gunship. "I'm the backup pilot, so I'm in the back." And the Troopers just accept that logic lol.

And the "something" Kanan needs to tell Hera is either that he knows she's pregnant (but maybe doesn't know she knows?) OR about his upcoming expiration. Too bad Rukh interferes.

Oh hey, another sad parallel, neither Jedi have their lightsaber for their moment of ultimate sacrifice.

Hgngnh watching all the pieces move into place for what I already know is coming is awful.

Still cannot get over just how polluted the streets are, look at that rust colored smog.

Lol Ezra's little fist pump, completely forgetting where he is a moment. He's so cute I love him.

Their teamwork in taking out the other Imperials is great too.

*watches the kiss, sighs with sadness*

You did not have to dig so hard into the mood whiplash guys. You really didn't.

All right, let's just... pull off the bandaid.

The animation, the music full of mournful male chorus and high siren wail, the muted soundtrack, the emphasis on Hera and Ezra, that Kanan is so deeply utterly in tune with the Force that his blindness doesn't even matter (which is what his eyes clearing up was, clumsily, attempting to convey) he can see them...

And then he's gone.

And how awful it was for Ezra, who literally just felt his bond with Kanan snap inside his head, to have to be the competent leader and shout at Sabine to, "Go! Go!". For him to have to be the one thinking clearly, because Hera is completely numb and in shock.

Sabine wiping her eyes as she flies them out of there, somehow still able to see through her tears.

And then a stark white and gray titlecard as ashen dust flickers down around the text.

:((((((((

Frick man it still hits hard. Looking back though, it was inevitable. The death flags were all there, the pieces all set up and in place. This wasn't done on a whim, this was meticulously thought out, to devastating effect.

I was never quite as emotionally attached to Kanan as a lot of other people in the fandom, and I'm also a grown adult, so Kanan's death, while incredibly saddening, was not nearly as emotionally devastating to me as it was to quite a few younger viewers. For a lot of fandom this was their first time experiencing a fictitious loss like that, of having a character, a person they had as a staple in their lives, suddenly leaving it. Leaving behind an empty hole.

And that's one of the reasons I have to respect the writers for doing it. They had a story they needed to tell--about loss, about dealing with grief, about how to pick yourself back up and continue doing the right thing, as a Jedi specifically for Ezra, and as a person for everyone else--and they knew they needed to give it the weight and gravitas it merited.

You can't cling to things forever. It's one of the core staple lessons of Star Wars, the "point of the prequels" to borrow a common if oft-misused phrase.

Loss will happen. Death will happen. Do not give into fear about it. Do not let your fear of loss drive you into darkness.

Give yourself time to process the loss. Let yourself grieve.

And then let go.

So I appreciate that the next few episodes are spent almost as if in a funk, the cloud of grief hanging over us as we process through our loss with the characters and then pick ourselves back up and return to the mission. Because the war isn't won yet, and there are still things left to do.

It is darkest before the dawn.

[notanodinarygirl]

@sabineweek

Alt Day 6: Sabine Post-Rebels but Pre-Ahsoka

Type of Submission: Fanfic

Thought Process Behind This Story: Honestly when I posted the snippet of this story, that was the only thing I had written for this prompt. I had an overall idea but didn't knew how to shape it. But over the days I figured it out, you know it is easy to write something sad and heart-wrenching when you are yourself feeling it, so that's what happened and here's the result! I hope you like it!

Warning (Contains topics): Depression, PTSD, Mentions of Suicide Attempt, Angst, Heavy Angst.

It was that day again.

The day when she would become colour blind to all the colours she loved. And would see in the shades of grey that she could feel.

When she would feel like the whole world was sinking in and leaving her with no oxygen to breathe.

Maybe she should stop breathing and drown into the emptiness of the day.

No. She thought. Mandalorians are not coward, they die through sacrifices. Like the one of Ezra and Kanan.

But did she had that strength of a mandalorian in her anymore?

It's also been years since she last wore her armour. She forgot her armour the day she heard about what happened on mandalore. After the deed her family met. After she lost the last strands of hope she was holding onto.

That dark thought came to her mind again. She should give in.

Stop breathing.

Stop living.

Stop hoping.

Hope. The more she hoped the more she lost.

Hope was when Kanan died and she believed it would all be worth it to save the people of lothal.

Hope was when she lost Ezra and she knew she would find him again.

Hope was when she had the confidence that they could win the battle on Mandalore.

But they lost. Terribly.

And hence hope was lost when she pulled herself together only to breakup into a million more pieces. Pieces which were now too small to pick up.

It was always this day when she would feel like her heart was beating only to crack into bits of puzzle that could no longer be put together.

Her chain of thoughts were broken when she heard her communicator beep.

She knew who it was and hence didn't want to pick it up. But she also knew that if she wouldn’t answer, she would face consequences none better than her current situation.

So she ended up answering.

"Hera, I won't come to the celebration you know that", she said as she answered Hera's holo call.

"I know and that's why I am not here to force you. I just wanted to say that Jacen wants to visit the fair."

Sabine knew what Hera wanted.

Hera wanted her to take Jacen to the fair.

Not anyone else.

But Her.

Hera no longer trusted Sabine to be alone on days like these after she ended up with a scar of relinquishment on her wrist.

"You can take him too", she remarked.

"I would. But I am busy with the arrangements for the celebration and plus it was Jacen's wish to visit the fair with his favourite aunt."

A smile touched Sabine's face when she heard Jacen's name.

She couldn't be the reason for the kid's disappointment.

"I'll be there", Sabine said with a sigh.

She saw Hera visibly relax as she said that sentence.

"I'll drop him by 0500", Hera said as she turned to end the holo call.

"Hera", Sabine said stopping Hera midway.

"Thankyou", She said to Hera looking into her eyes.

Thankyou.

An expression of gratitude.

Gratitude for always being there for her when she was at her lowest points.

Gratitude for being her guiding light when her days were dark.

Gratitude for everything.

"Hey, you know I'll always be there for you", Hera said with an affectionate smile and ended the holo call.

Sabine got up to get ready. She certainly couldn't go the Liberation Day fair in her current condition.

Liberation Day.

It was today years ago when they defeated the Empire here on Lothal. When the people of Lothal got what they had longed for all their life.

Liberty. Freedom.

The day she longed for, all these years. The day, she thought all her pain and suffering would go away. The day, when she hoped that she would forget all her loses and mistakes.

In some ways it was the day she dreamed of. But as years went by the day became none better than a nightmare.

This why over the years she felt nothing but hatred for this day. At this point she didn't even like naming this day as The Liberation Day.

Because even if the day was The Liberation Day, she was not free.

She didn't get her freedom yet.

She was still not liberated from the pain, grief, desolation, suffering, remorse and a ton more synonyms of nightmarish emotions she was rotting in.

And therefore, for her, the liberty was futile if she couldn't feel it.

[daughterofthequeen]

Contribution

Pairings: Ezra Bridger x gn!reader

Requested by: @theriseofshin

A/N: I added a little more to the story I hope that's ok. And omg look at the gif I found, Eman is so Ezra coded. THE SHOULDER BOUNCE WHEN THEY SMILE. Ok so this based on season 3 episode 11 of Rebels and also somewhere in between S3 E11 and S3 E13. The idea just popped up in my head, we'll see how it goes. Reader is force sensitive. This is also unedited btw.

Summary: When you, Sabine, and Kanan followed Maul and Ezra to Dathomir, the witches somehow took away your powers. Which should've been impossible, but ever since that incident you've felt like you brought nothing to the team. You felt like you were in the way. Seeing this Ezra quickly took these thoughts from your mind reminding you of who you are.

Translation: kokipa- fear

You were laying on your bed enjoying having the room to yourself for once. I mean don't get me wrong, you and Sabine get along really well as roommates as well as sisters can be anyway, but lately in your spare time you'd ather be alone. After what happened on Dathomir, you rather not be around anyone.

EDIT: I accidentally deleted this when I was trying to make a correction. You guys don’t know how stressed I was.

And HUGE shout to @nubimera for reblogging this story because not only were you the first reblog of this fic but you are the reason I was able to get pictures of my fic so I wouldn’t have to rewrite it. THANK YOU SO MUCH YOURE SO AMAZING🥰❤️🥰❤️🥰❤️🥰❤️🥰❤️🥰and a big thanks to everyone who like my fic in the short amount of time of me posting before I accidentally deleted it🤦‍♀️🫣🤦‍♀️

Few weeks ago on Dathomir

After Ezra threw you out of the cave the spirit left your body, giving you back control of your limbs.

"Why is it every time we work with Maul, weird force stuff happens and I'm always hurt trying to save you?" You said with a small smile while trying to rub away your migraine.

"Wait you're hurt? Where?" Ezra responded reaching towards you looking for any injuries.

“I'm hurt mentally, these experiences take a toll on a person you know." You smirked and Ezra rolled his eyes at your teasing.

"I thought you were injured."

"I do have a heck of a headache if that makes you feel any better." You said as you stood up.

"No, you stay here. I'm going to go get Sabine and Kanan."

"Then I want to help."

"They'll just posses you again."

"And what about you?"

"I have a plan."

"Great, then I can help with that. I'll take Sabine and you can take Kanan." You said walking back into the cave.

Ezra sighed at your stubbornness and followed you in.

"You know you're pretty stubborn." Ezra says.

"I've been told that before."

Sensing something behind you, you quickly ignited your light saber and blocked the one aimed at you. You called out and told Ezra to go help Kanan before focusing back on your best friend.

"Sabine if you can hear me, I'm sorry." You said as you broke the hold of the lightsabers and kicked Sabine in her stomach sending her backwards. Seeing her getting up you pressed on slowly but surely backing Sabine towards the entrance of the cave before a force knocked you over. You opened your eyes to see the spirit that came after you the first time. You quickly dodged it and turned back around towards Sabine and when you did you felt a pair of fingers on your forehead and you hear one word before blacking out.

"Kokipa."

The Next Day

The next thing you knew you were waking up in your bed with Ezra sitting next to you, and it didn't take long to realize the damage that had been done. Once you had woken up completely everything felt quiet. You couldn't feel anything around you. You went to Kanan to ask him about it and he said it could just be fatigue, but you didn't believe it. You have been way more exhausted before and it never affected your powers. It wasn't until a few days later during a mission briefing when you realized your powers were gone. Hera was explaining the mission when you seen one of the cute hermit crab things that were all around chopper base. It was sitting next to your hand on the edge of the holo-table. Smiling softly you reached out to it with the force, well you tried anyway. It was something you would do all the time, but this time you couldn't feel its emotions or its presence. Trying not to panic you looked around trying to connect with any living thing you had seen, but felt nothing. Now it was time to panic. You looked towards Ezra and Kanan. Ezra must've felt your worry and unease because he looked up directly at you seeing your panicked eyes. A few seconds of the two of you staring at each other, he gave you a confused look. That's when you realized he was trying to talk to you through the force link only the two of you shared.

When the two of you met you both instantly created a bond that grew stronger every day. About a month into your friendship you both realized you could use the force to connect your minds and talk to each other telepathically. Kanan explained that it was because of the bond you two share and that it was a rare occurrence and could be dangerous if the two of you weren't careful with your emotions. Over time you both mastered the skill, only this time you couldn't hear Ezra thoughts at all or even feel him through the force. That's when you started to panic. You didn't even hear Hera when she asked if you were ok, or notice Kanan quickly moving to your side while Ezra made his way to the other. All you could hear was your body trying to catch its breath. You couldn't breath, and you could barely hear Ezra trying to walk you through slowing your breathing, but you couldn't. Every thing sounded like it was under water.

Kanan and Ezra walked you to the common room of the Ghost as the others followed, watching worriedly as Ezra was slowly able to calm you down.

"So, you gonna tell us what's going on?" Kanan said.

"Somethings wrong with me." You replied.

"What do you mean?"

"I think I've lost my powers."

Everyone was silent at first, a Jedi losing their connection to the force was so rare it was basically unheard of during the times of old. The only way for a force user to lose their powers was if they stopped using it completely.

"(Y/n), that's not possible."

"Then tell me what it is Kanan! It's not exhaustion, it's something else! It's like everything has gone quiet, if I wasn't looking at all of you right now, I wouldn't even know you were here! Tell me what to do Kanan.”

"I-I haven't seen anything like this before (Y/n). I'm not sure there is anything we can do. Let me think on it, we'll figure it out I promise." You could hear the sadness in Kanan's voice which only worries you more. You said nothing else as you stood up went to your room. You were anxious, angry, sad, and scared.

"What would my contribution to the team be now?" You asked yourself before the sound of the door opening caught your attention. It was Ezra.

"Hey." He said softly.

"Hey."

"How you doin'?" Ezra asked as he sat next to you on your bunk.

"How do you think I'm doing?" The pause that followed was uncomfortable and the guilt you felt caused you to sigh.

"I'm sorry, Ezra. I'm just- I don't know why I’m going to do.”

"Don't worry, we'll figure this out, (N/ n)."

"It's not just that."

"Then what is it?"

"How am I supposed to help the team?"

"What?"

"Without the force, I'm useless to the team."

"That's not true! You are more than just your powers (N/n)."

"Am I? I'm not skilled in mechanics like Sabine, I'm not as good a shot as Zeb, and I definitely don't even come close to flying as good a Hera. You and Kanan, even you guys come up with really good plans when needed. I can't do any of that stuff. I knew how to fight, but now that my powers are gone how am I supposed to do that well." You said looking away from Ezra.

"Woah, woah, woah, let me stop you right there. You are a vital part of this team, this family. And just because you think you don't contribute anything other than your lightsaber doesn't make it true. I can't tell you how many messes you've gotten us out of with your quick thinking, how many problems your creative mind help fix for everybody on this ship, constantly. And you're a fierce warrior with and without your saber."

"Ezra." You sighed.

"You are needed here, and I won't let you think otherwise. And I will repeat myself everyday until you believe it, if I have to." Ezra finished as he softly cups your cheek and turn your head back towards him to look you in the eyes.

"Thanks, Ezra. But-"

"No buts." He said leaning forward pressing a soft kiss on your cheek, then another on your lips. "Now, let's forgive this out. Start from the beginning." And you did. You told him about everything that happened yesterday, and retracing your steps helped you realize the reason your powers are gone. You were still anxious and afraid, but with Ezra there you knew everything was going to turn out fine.

————————————————————

A/N: Finally finished I hope this isn't to cringe or anything. And hopefully this fulfilled your request. Thank you so much for sending in your request, and giving me a chance to bring your idea to life. I will now be heading to bed. Good night, guys.

Edit: But I did discover something from this mistake if you have a iPad and an iPhone you can copy something from said iPad and all you have to do is click ast on your iPhone and it’ll paste whatever it was from your iPad to your phone. I’m late Ik BUT it was such a life saver because I promise if I had to rewrite this whole fic out again without a reference (not that I didn’t enjoy writing it the first time) this fic was going to be my 13th reason. Hope you guys enjoy, toodles👋.

[illuminatedquill]

Sabine Wren and Ezra Bridger:

Star Scar-Crossed Lovers

They don't know how much they'll miss At least until you're gone like this Talking to the mirror, say, "Save your breath Half your life, you've been hooked on death" Twice the dreams, but half the love Be careful what you bottle up The chemistry is a mess, it seems But me, I'm still a sunbeam I will never ask you for anything Except to dream sweet of me I will never ask you for anything Except to dream sweet of me Tell me, when the party ends Will you still love who I am, I am? - Fall Out Boy, Heaven, Iowa

Here's the thing - Ezra's disappearance and subsequent absence from Sabine's life was always going to hurt her in a way that no one else's did.

All because Ezra was kind. That's the horrible, tragic irony of it all that keeps me up at night. Sabine has lost so many loved ones throughout her life: ran from her own family; her fellow Mandalorian and friend Ketsu Onyo left her for dead; Kanan died to allow her, Hera, and Ezra to escape Imperial forces; and, later on, her master, Ahsoka Tano left her shortly after the Purge of Mandalore.

It's arguable that even Hera and Zeb presumably became estranged from her at some point during or after the events of the Original Trilogy. The Ghost Crew split up. Sabine is alone on Lothal and clearly is not accustomed to visitors when we see her in the Ahsoka premiere.

Sabine, as we know, is accustomed to this. She has developed a method of "moving on" and forging a new path ahead. She internalizes the pain, for better and worse, and keeps moving.

It's served her fairly well.

But not with Ezra. He does the one thing none of those others did: he leaves a message, just for her, shortly before his disappearance with Thrawn into another galaxy.

With that message, that act of unconditional love and kindness, it leaves an indelible scar on Sabine's heart.

With the others who left or died or she ran away from, she could ignore the pain. Sabine could justify it for being due to one reason or another.

Ezra's message does away with that defense. Slips past through her hardened exterior and nestles deep within her heart.

Because he's kind. Because he's Ezra and he didn't want to leave his friend without saying good-bye and wanted to give her some sense of closure.

"Sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you've been ruined." - Ocean Vuong, On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous

She doesn't close the door on Ezra. But she can't cross through it either. For the next ten years, Sabine becomes stagnant, keeping that fire of hope burning for her lost friend but unable to act on it.

And she plays that message every day, probably.

Plays it again.

And again.

And again.

She dreams of that recording; has Ezra's statement memorized to where she mouths along the words with him and can even copy his mannerisms. Sabine takes to heart every little one of his movements and how shy and awkward he looks when he says she's "like a sister" to him.

(And she scoffs. Every single time. But doesn't quite know why that line irritates her.)

The tragedy is that Ezra's message was meant to reassure Sabine and let her move on . . . only to do the exact opposite.

It becomes a burden to bear - one that she does so willingly and with all the ferocity and determination she can muster. But, still a burden it is, despite Ezra's good intentions.

Sabine eventually does the unthinkable - she takes on the mantle of a Jedi.

Think about it. Never, in the entirety of Rebels, had she ever shown an inkling of being interested in following the Jedi path.

Why now? What's changed?

It's simple. Ezra's gone.

Maybe it's a desire to get closer with him but, equally likely, Sabine sees it as a potential avenue to find him someday. She's seen it's power and the abilities it produces in those who are able to wield it.

But even that path forward to Ezra fails. Her people - and her family - are purged by the Empire and Ahsoka cuts her Jedi training short out of fear for Sabine becoming dangerous should she reach her full potential after such a tremendous loss.

More years pass, but the fire never dies. But Sabine cannot do anything. She stays locked in Ezra's watchtower, seeing the galaxy return to life but not feeling any of it for herself.

And then, eventually, Ahsoka returns with the map to Thrawn.

We know the rest.

The planet of Seatos. The map. Ahsoka's fall.

Sabine's choice. The only choice. The grand calculus of the universe demands that she place duty over love; that she throw away Thrawn's one chance of returning to finish what he started.

And, in doing so, doom Ezra to die far, far away from home.

And Sabine makes her choice. Gambles the fate of her galaxy, the hard won peace that so many had fought and died for - all for love.

The Ahsoka finale seems to find Sabine and Ahsoka making peace over her choice. Yes, Thrawn has returned to the galaxy - but so has Ezra, thus fulfilling Sabine's promise to herself of getting him home.

Ahsoka reassures her that the Force has plans in motion - that although they are stranded in another galaxy, they are meant to be here. Just like Ezra is meant to be back home.

Trust in the Force. Sabine and Ezra will find their way back to each other, no matter what.

. . . But there's always consequences to a decision. Always.

I don't believe that Sabine sacrificing her desire to be with Ezra after being kept apart for so long is the true cost of what she did. I don't think that's her real trial.

I think the real reckoning is yet to come.

Because Ezra never found out how she came to find him.

Sabine could not bring herself to tell him. Because she is, appropriately, scared of how he will react. She does not want to lose him again.

(The weight of that will break the galaxy.)

Helping Thrawn return is not only a betrayal of everything Ezra and others had sacrificed for but it places Lothal, Hera, Jacen, Zeb, and countless other beings in extreme danger.

In making her deal with Baylan to find Thrawn, Sabine may end up losing him again in a way more permanent than being trapped in a distant galaxy.

Sabine got him back after so long . . . only for her choice to cause an irreparable rift in their relationship.

The loss of Ezra's love, trust, and respect for Sabine is something I cannot fathom how she would handle. She saved him, only to lose him because of it.

And to think from it on Ezra's side - that he doesn't know how his message came to define Sabine's life these past ten years. He's Force-sensitive and, more importantly, knows Sabine better than most people; he knows she's hiding something from him.

But I don't think he could guess it was something like helping Thrawn. He wouldn't even consider it being in character for her, let alone especially for someone who is training to be a Jedi.

Ezra would never, for a single second, consider that Sabine is a traitor. It's unthinkable for him. It's probably why he never questioned Sabine further after she showed up on Peridea with little explanation.

For what reason would she risk the galaxy? To throw everything into the hands of the galaxy's most feared and cunning Imperial warlord?

And when he finds out it was all for him . . . . my heart breaks for Ezra.

The scar of Sabine's choice would mark him long enough for several lifetimes.

How do you fix something like that? How do you come back from a betrayal that burns everything you've ever sacrificed for, everything you've ever stood for?

How do you face the person you trusted to safeguard all of that, only to find out that they're the one who lit the flame?

How do you reconcile that they did all these terrible things for you?

(Ask Vader how well that turned out for him.)

It's Sabine. It's Ezra.

And the scars they've given each other . . . all for love.

If Filoni is brave enough, then this could be the most interesting relationship in all of Star Wars.

[david-talks-sw]

any new Star Wars essays in the making, or are you moving on?

I don't know, honestly.

Part of it is "life gets in the way," I'm working a lot and so whatever time I have left is spent just messing around or meeting with my loved ones.

I've got a bunch of stuff in my drafts. I don't mind sharing it here, most recent to oldest:

Sort of a joke post of me pointing out how stressful being George Lucas' producer must've been, like this guy really DIDN'T WANT to write his fucking scripts, did he? Poor Rick McCallum. Abandoned because who gives a crap.

'Ask' reply on how EU-fueled fandom perception of the Jedi was flipped by the prequels.

'Ask' reply about the themes in Ahsoka and why the show doesn't know what it's about. Problem is, I go about it starting from the basics, so nobody's gonna sit through reading a tematic breakdown of the first Pirates of the Carribean movie, The Batman and the original six Star Wars films before I even get to the show at hand.

"Part II" post about what Ahsoka, Rebels and TCW get right about lightsaber duels, which the Prequels never did.

Quote collection & analysis on just how complex the Prequels were meant to be (in the late 80s, Lucas intimated that the Sequels were the story that was supposed to have gray morality, not the Prequels)

Quote collection on how the themes and principles of Star Wars align with Lucas' own opinions and philosophies.

Quote collection on Lucas defining Anakin's flaws.

Quote collection on Lucas talking about the fact that we need to be more proactive, which aligns with what Lumi points out sometimes about the Jedi: they should've been more politically engaged because we all should be.

Why I approach Lucas as "word of god".

Personal life/joke-y post dating from the time of the WGA strike about how Jack Black's School of Rock lyrics "In his heart he knew, the artist must be true, but the legend of the rent was way past due!" applied to me. Abandoned because I didn't wanna bum everyone out.

Correcting the notion that Dark Times-era Jedi such as Kanan or Ezra or Ahsoka represent what Jedi were supposed to be.

A comprehensive end-all outlook on how Anakin's flaws all tie together. I've written this one twice and I don't know how to differentiate it from my other posts.

A secret "Part 3" to my TLJ Luke post, in which I point out that RJ's being too "indie", while being a strong point for a big chunk of the film, hampers the film's ability to make Luke feel as badass as he does on paper. I want to illustrate a storyboard for this one, but that takes time.

The evolution of Star Wars' approach to transmedia.

Debunking Star Wars myths: a (very) comprehensive outlook on children in the Jedi Order.

Problem is that only like 2/3rds of these are fully-written... and I still need to find the relevant clips, turn them into GIFs, etc etc.

There's many other interesting Asks in my inbox btw. But I'm already behind on all these, so I haven't begun to touch them.

Then there's the drawings.

I wanna draw a comic of the meeting between Yoda and Dooku in Dark Rendezvous. I wanna finish the comic fight between Maul and Ben. I wanna draw Mace, Shaak Ti, I've got a Luminara fan-art that was supposed to be ready for Jedi June 2022 and an Anakin drawing that looks weird. No time, nor am I skilled enough. (Like, I trace, that's what I do, it's not a secret I've said so before... but it takes me a long while to do so. I'm not fast at drawing, let alone coloring.) I could commission some of these, but there are obvious obstacles there.

There's fun tidbits I've discovered here and there but nobody will care about them and I usually try to not drown my blog with bs posts.

Then there's the bigger problem.

All the things I've listed above? I'm not 100% motivated to finish. But a lot of the new stuff I wanna write about is hella negative.

I had a lot of stuff I wanted to say about Ahsoka. But it wasn't all good. It was mostly me bitching, be it about the show or the fandom's reactions to it.

I've also got more stuff to say about Filoni's take on Star Wars, but I've talked about why it's inaccurate like 8 times already, and I don't actually dislike the guy, like there's plenty of things he knows and does that I think are awesome but also people won't stop putting him and his takes on a pedestal and--

oh shit, there's Acolyte too, I forgot about that, gray morality galore, here we come. But here too, like... I've talked a couple of times about why this entire gray morality thing is actually just the gen X-ers trying to make the prequels "cool" and "complex". but I've never explored properly, with quotes and research and shit. but i've talked about it so many times that at this point it'd end up like the Filoni rants, redundant. "we get it already." as if this show didn't have haters lined round the block for absolutely sexist reasons.

Don't get me started on the mountain of lies and/or idiocy that is the YouTuber Star Wars Theory.

And yet he said one thing a few months ago which struck a chord within me and it's the fact that Andor is awesome, excels on all levels because it's treated seriously, like a proper show, not a Disney Plus one... why wasn't Obi-Wan Kenobi? Why wasn't Book of Boba Fett? And I've already established multiple times that I enjoyed Kenobi (yes, including the Reva parts) and I've established that I know what they were going for in Fett and I've established that this is mainly a "Disney Plus didn't know how to structure a fucking show pre-WGA strike" issue more than anything else... but when I think about how these could've been treated instead? When I look at the characterizations and emotional stakes of like Fargo Season 5? It's infuriating. Because it's not bad (talking about Kenobi, BOBF is awful)... but it could've been EXCELLENT and instead it was just "okay" to "good".

I just miss live action lightsaber duels, man. Like, good ones.

and i dunno. maybe I should just let it rip on all this. "go off, king!"

but I think there's so much negativity re: Star Wars that adding my thoughts on these subjects, no matter how structured and reason, will just blend into a wave of needless, un-constructive hate.

maybe I should finish the writings in the drafts and just post them with no gifs, maybe just still images?

but doing any of that feels like a step back.

So that's where I'm at right now.

[seth-shitposts]

I want to drop this here real quick, but there will be much tension between the Ghost Crew and Kallus initially in the Defectors AU. Because >:]

Let's start off with Hera. So with Hera, it isn't immediate. For the first two seasons, however, she picks up on little details here and there. Such as how the usually very Loud & Outspoken About His Dislike for the Empire Ezra becomes uncharacteristically quiet when the topic is shifted to Agent Kallus. Or how whenever Kallus becomes involved, the kid is suddenly down for the retreat that was suggested moments prior, insisting that they stop attack to run. One of the biggest hunches Hera gets is the heartbroken, homesick look that the kid casts towards the agent.

So no, when Ezra finally fesses up about his and Kallus’s past when the latter reveals himself to be a rebel spy, Hera isn't surprised. But she is pissed beyond belief. And she holds that grudge.

There are little things that lessen it, as she has heavier eyes on the man now. Like the way she notices how Kallus is always insistent on the entire crew's safety, sometimes looking like it's a high priority than the mission. Or how in stolen moments, in the Empire’s blindspots, when Ezra has that homesick look on his face, Kallus will give him a mirroring look with a sad smile; how he says something Hera can't gear from the distance before giving the teen a small, affectionate pinch. And then another. And another. Until Ezra starts to laugh, half heartedly pushing his hands away.

Her grudge fizzles after Zero Hour. When Kallus’s first priority is to check on Ezra after being scooped out of that escape pod.

___________

While Kanan hadn't caught onto as many of the hints as Hera, he always caught that Ezra was hiding something. That, often, he was always struggling with something. And he figured out what that something was in that lift when Kallus revealed a secret that came as no surprise to his defensive padawan. And the immediate relief that washed over the teen in that moment. It's only because of Ezra that Kanan chose to trust Kallus.

After escaping the factory, Kanan let Ezra know that he doesn't have to tell him what the history is if he doesn't want to, but he is always open for listening. While Ezra still seemed worried over something, a joy took lead. One laced with relief. Ezra tells Kanan that he does want to talk about it.

Kanan takes a few missions that would give him the chance to potentially cross paths with Kallus. And each time, Kallus gets on his case about putting himself in danger. Which is a bit laughable. Should Kallus really be the one lecturing about putting oneself in line of danger when he has been operating as a deep level spy for the rebellion for how many years at this point? Kanan works on getting Kallus’s thought process what happened.

"I assume Ezra’s told you everything."

"Yes, and now I'm here to hear from you." In truth, Ezra has many unanswered questions. Kanan has many of the same. "So tell me what your goals with remaining in the empire were."

Kallus takes an audible gulp. "Initially, it was to find and rescue Mira and Ephraim. I searched for days, days that turned into weeks, then months, years." The weight that had seemed to leave Ezra back in the lift only grows more on Kallus. "I had been hoping it wouldn't take long. That I could return them to Ezra. Return Ezra to them. To do it, I thought that Ezra would only remain in danger by my side. Because the plan was to get to Mira and Ephraim and get them out no matter what. So if Ezra remained in my care,"

"The empire would have gotten to him before you could." Kanan hadn't thought of that being the reason why Kallus chose to leave Ezra and stay. He thought that Kallus had been prioritizing hurting the Empire over anything else. Over Ezra. "Your priority has always been what you thought was best for Ezra?"

"I thought I had left him in Tseebo's care, I didn't know Tseebo left. Sumar couldn't find Ezra. I was neck deep in trying to find where the Bridgers were, but..." Kallus shakes his head. "I never stopped looking for them. Not until I found them."

"You found them?"

Kallus looks away from Kanan.

"The night of the breakout."

"Found them after years of searching, and it was too late."

______

Zeb is the first one that makes an impression on Kallus and it is not great. And Kallus’s response is worse.

The first time Kallus sees Ezra after two years and it's on an imperial ship. With rebels. One of which shoved ahead of Ezra. Kallus was shocked when his hand managed to grab a hold of Ezra’s wrist. Kallus had timed everything perfectly, so that it would look like he was pursuing the rebels and honestly doing his best to capture them. The other rebel, he later learned is Zeb, was just supposed to slip through his fingers. So when his hand landed on Ezra, they both were in shock. Ezra wad the first one to look away, to look back at Zeb, who was pinned and unable to make a shot to help Ezra. And left. He left Ezra in the hands of an ISB Agent.

A rage boils in Kallus.

One that consumes him a few weeks later when he sees the lasat again, when their bo-rifles are locked. Kallus sneers at the other, his anger still seething. If he left a child in the hands of an ISB Agent, what had he done during the Massacre of Lasan? Where had he been that day? Where was he as his people were simply being swept away in the matter of one afternoon?

Kallus very much regrets the words he spat in a fit of rage after he learns the truth of what happened to Zeb on Lasan. Regret doesn't even begin to cover it. But what he can't understand is just how willing Zeb is to allow them to move past it on Bahryn. Kallus had held his grudge against Zeb, but Zeb was willing to offer forgiveness.

There is much much more that goes on between these two, the prophecy plays out in a different course of action. But Zeb is the first one to figure out that Kallus isn't who he says he is, he figures this out before bahryn.

_______

Mmmmm I'm stopping here to go make food, enjoy.

[batheavensent5]

Sabine Wren always runs away from her problems instead comforting them.

She ran away from the Imperial Academy when she discovered the Emprie's true intentions for the Duchess.

She ran away from her own family. She didn't even go to her family and tell them what happened. Instead Sabine's actions forced Ursa Wren to bend the knee to Gar Saxon and by proxy the Empire. Just so Clan Wren won't face the consequences.

Nor has she admitted as to why she would create such a weapon that would turn a Mandalorians armor against them. She would only admit to it as being a series of bad decisions.

Sabine understood from birth what a Mandalorians armor means to a Mandalorian. Yet, she goes and create a weapon that turns a Mandalorians armor into a death trap. Then why do it? Why?

And the only time Sabine would admit anything was when Kanan pressed her.

By the time of Ashoka, Sabine is still running away.

The first time the audience sees Sabine, she's on a speeder running away from a dedication ceremony to the rebel victory over Lothal. All she had to do was play nice and give a speech. Instead, she decides to blow it off. She literary blows off the people she helped save.

In a sense, she is also, running away from herself. In that she is not dealing with the loss of her family and Mandalore, in a healthy way. I think at one point Zeb, Kallus, Hera and Ahsoka tried to help but Sabine pushed them away.

Sabine Wren is running away when she dodges Ezra's questions about how she got to Peridea. She just refers to as it being shady. She just doesn't want to admit that she traded the safety of galaxy on the slim chance Ezra might be alive. Or ruin her reunion with Ezra.

She is still running away when she chooses to stay with Ahsoka. Of course Ahsoka is Sabine's master (I use that term loosely). They had been estranged until recently.

Staying is easy. It's easier than facing the questions that are waiting for her. It's easier then lying to everyone or omitting certain facts. Or having to deal with the consequences when the truth does comes out.

Sabine Wren is still running away

[anotherclassicpretence]

Another Star Wars: Rebels appreciation post incoming under the cut.

One thing about Rebels that people who scoff at it don't get is how it builds. The story-of-the-week format of S1 ultimately builds into a galaxy-spanning 6-episode arc that unites the themes of the past 4 seasons and is just so damn intense in the best way. It'd give you whiplash if you switched from S1 to S4. And yet it never devalues the silliness of the first season! The scope of the show takes us with it on a journey of how Rebels are created, how the characters' own perception of a Rebellion is formalised and evolves over time. And yes, that means seeing them embrace the darkness and difficult choices that come with a growing network whose goal far outstrips its resources. And yet, it comes together all the same- cell by cell, we see how the Spectres recruit and bring together people who join the Rebellion. At the end, as Kanan says, all paths come together- the subtle philosophy of the Force no longer remains separate from the battle on the ground. You need to see Ezra's entire growth to fully appreciate the staggering amount of effort that came into those final episodes.

I won't compare it to The Clone Wars, because that show had a certain constraint with respect to its characters and ending that Rebels didn't, but it does maintain a linearity of tone throughout- gathering darkness on a galaxy-wide scale. That is the story it tells, and it suits the format. But Rebels is about the slightest glimmer of hope shining through a darkness that descended over a decade ago, that seemed impenetrable; a glimmer that through its faith and courage slowly grew into a flame from which the phoenix of light could once again rise (yes, the phoenix was deliberate XD). Please give it a chance- besides, S1 literally is as much fun as you'll let it be.

As for it being childish, it honestly isn't. Not even the first few episodes. The theme of compromise, sacrifice, and forced passivity is there throughout. Just because it isn't present in the dialogue, doesn't mean it's absent. The terror of a slow occupation of Lothal, with the casual appropriation of land and evicting of citizens, is in fact a focus right from the start. And later, we have the central question of "what does being a Rebel really mean" becoming a central part of the show, and we get perspectives ranging from Saw's direct, unscrupulous view of it as a war, to Mon Mothma's cautious, conservative approach that wants to secure the long-term victory at the expense of short-term interests- and we see the Spectres, exposed to both of these, realise that neither is good enough on its own. They find their own answer, but it's not shown as the answer. It is simply that they played the role they were given as well as they could, while somehow maintaining their subjective moral compasses.

I don't even know why I made this post, just... please don't hate on this show without watching it. It introduces so many cool and thought-provoking concepts and its characters have so much heart! <3 (Obligatory "Hera Syndulla is the best- even her archrival agrees" addendum here). The different planets we see, from Mandalore to Geonosis, and of course the villains!! Thrawn is one of the most characters ever in SWR, and the wisely limited apprearance of Vader shows him as terrifying and darkly strategic as ever.

Also a major strength of it, for me, is that apart from a few glaring instances, it's avoided the "telling instead of showing" trap. Quite a bit is left for the audience to infer. You can watch it in any mood, honestly, and you'll have fun. Except the last few ones, uhhh you'll see what I mean.